deborah miller vs the forces of evil

You're Deborah Miller: PTA secretary, HOA member, mother of two, and five-time winner of the Best-Selling Homemade Good prize at the Greenbriar Elementary School PTA annual bake sale. [[You will not be upstaged.]]

You're at the annual bake sale. You put your Super Fudgy Chocolate Chip Brownies at the center of the baked goods table, where they rightfully belong. You've made about two hundred, ready for the business rush, even though it's not yet noon. These babies sell //fast//. [[Stake out the competition.]] [[Buy one of your brownies to make it seem like there's high demand.]]

You browse the offerings laid out. It's a pretty good showing this year. Kathy's Sugar-Free Coconut Macaroons, Darla's Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies, Angela's Old Fashioned Lemon Bars. No viable competition, as usual. This one should be easy pickings. But it looks like there's [[another selection]] this year. (click-append:"Kathy's Sugar-Free Coconut Macaroons")[ (gag-worthy, there's not a single added sweetener in the whole batch)] (click-append:"Darla's Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies")[ (definitely storebought)] (click-append:"Angela's Old Fashioned Lemon Bars")[ (they're old-fashioned, all right; she makes them a week ahead to save time and it shows in the flavor)]

You slip two dollars in the jar allotted for your brownies and sneak one out of the pile before anyone sees. Yum. They really do taste like heaven. [[Stake out the competition.]]

Suzanne's Scrumptious Strawberry Shortcakes? This wouldn't do. These were no amateur bake sale snacks. These took //time//. Effort. Was Suzanne that mom who moved into the neighborhood a few months ago? That just wouldn't do. Losing out to a newcomer? You'd be the laughingstock of Greenbriar. This was //your// territory. You have to have a talk with Suzanne and show her what's really going on. You scan the premises. Behind the hand-drawn poster! [[You got her.]]

YOU: Hiya, Suzanne! Heard y'all moved into town a few months ago but I never got to say welcome. Welcome! SUZANNE: Oh, well, I've never been around much to see. There's a lot going on, you know the drill! //(She's too chirpy. And her skin is really pale. Makes you wonder if she's even Southern, with skin //that// white.)// YOU: Your skin's so light, Suzanne. Makes you wonder if you're even from the South! //(you laugh)// SUZANNE: //(laughing)// I wonder the same sometimes. I just got the short end of the stick with genetics, I guess! I burn up awful in the sun. //(She sure does. Her skin's already red and that's //with// the sun hat. It's kind of gross, to be honest.)// YOU: Texas sun really does a number on you, huh? You're looking as red as the fruits in your strawberry shortcakes. SUZANNE: I know! I try to boost the color a bit by adding some beet juice in the strawberry topping. [[It's kind of disingenuous to call them strawberry shortcakes if you're adding //beet juice// in them.]] [[Wow! I never would have thought of that one.]]

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