CINDE-12_MasterMerged_v1

Welcome, adventurer! You are about to enter a bizarre dimension where your most basic instincts can play against you. Live or die, the choice is yours. <div style="text-align: center;"> **CINDE-12** </div> [[I am ready...|Play]]

Ding! A notification in the corner of your screen wakes you up: "Reminder: Send report by 5pm on Friday." It's hard to believe you've finally finished this. This has been one long crunch week with a massive deadline and you had... What? Twelve? No, eight hours of sleep at best. A mere husk of a human being, you slowly edge the mouse towards the infamous "Shutdown" button, but you're intercepted midway by a //looong//... [[//YAAAAAAAAAWN//|Yawn 1]]

"What was //that//?!" Your boss inches next to your cubicle. His head peeks over the top frame and his eyes carefully identify the culprit. "I haven't heard one of those //yawns// since the Crunch of '75. This week has been pretty brutal, but you can pat yourself on the back. You did good and I've got the file. As the cool kids out there say... //TGIF//! Now, get out of here." [[Relieved, you get ready to leave...|Coworker Bar Invite]] (set: $number_yawns to 1)

"HOWDY, PARTNER!" For some reason Jeff, your cubicle neighbor, thinks it's cool to impersonate a tacky cowboy. "Looks like I'm not the only skedaddling outta' here! Long week, huh?" You muster the patience to answer back... [[Yeah, tell me about it.|Tired 1]] [[Actually, it was pretty easy.|Tired 2]]

"Yeah, tell me about it. I barely got any sleep." Jeff excitedly replies "It was a blast! I never had so much pop and pizza in my life." "Uuhh... Don't think that's a good --" "Say, why don't we go for a beer to celebrate our freedom? I can give you a ride." Jeff might be well intentioned, but the truth is... He's just... //Jeff//. Saying yes to his ride could mean over an hour of his never ending monologues. You give it some thought... [[I could use a ride.|Jeff Ride Yes]] [[I'll walk.|Jeff Ride No]]

"Actually, it was pretty --" Jeff excitedly interrupts "Easy? Ha! You're not fooling me with that one. I saw how many times you drooled on your desk. We even had a competition... But I got first place!" "Uuhh... Don't think that's a good --" "Say, why don't we go for a beer to celebrate our freedom? I can give you a ride." Jeff might be well intentioned, but the truth is... He's just... //Jeff//. Saying yes to his ride could mean over an hour of his never ending monologues. You give it some thought... [[I could use a ride.|Jeff Ride Yes]] [[I'll walk.|Jeff Ride No]]

"Yeah, I could use a ride and a beer." "That's //greeeeeat//! I call shotgun!" Jeff quickly replies. "It's your car. How can you call shotgun?" "Didn't I tell you? I was running to hand in some files to Jocelyn, but slipped on a pizza slice at the kitchen. I twisted my ankle and now it's all swollen, the size of a melon. I might have to start hopping around." You feel bad for him... "Oh, that sounds painful. I'm sorry to hear that." "Hear? You should see it! There's a strange green taint around the wound and the smell's pretty --" [["Okay! Okay! I'll drive."|Jeff Car Ride]]

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'll walk." "Hahaha! Good one. Are you aiming for next year's marathon? That's how Arnold Schwarzenegger started his career. He walked 60 miles to school everyday." "No way! That can't be true." "What's not true is you making it in time to the bar. If you walk out of here, you'll make it to downtown in three hours. Tell you what, come with me and I'll buy you a beer. Huh, huh?" [[The classic beer offer. As old as humanity...|Jeff Car Ride]]

You're driving Jeff's car and there's at least an hour of road ahead of the two of you. He's droning on about his plans for Saturday dinner... "And I know this charming meat market because Martha makes only the best meatloaf." You try to contain it. "Whenever I get there, Carl - he's the butcher." You really do. "He calls out to me and we talk about how delightful it is to have a such quiet neighborhood where --" But it's impossible. Jeff's monotone speech embraces you like a sweet bedtime lullaby. [[//YAAAAAAAAAWN//|Yawn 2]]

"WATCH OUT!" Jeff screams. Just in the nick of time you manage to swerve the car. You barely avoid running over a grandma pushing a stroller. Crap! "Oh, boy! That was close. I'm glad they're all right. No scratches on the car too. Phew, Marth would've killed me." Out of breath, you widen your eyes and adjust the car on the lane. "I'm sorry. I must've dozed off." "It's alright, buddy. I know just the trick to keep you focused. Trololololo..." [[Oh, god. Please make him stop.|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

"...lolololo, oh ha ha ha oh!" It seems like Jeff's singing is never going to end, but you're saved by the gong, **"BREAKING NEWS: CINDE-12 PANDEMIC."** The bar is too loud to hear the TV, but thankfully the closed captions are on. "This just in. Reports have confirmed the first cases of CINDE-12. All eyes are on this new strain of the virus responsible for excessive yawning. After diagnosis from toxicologists, it's been confirmed the ''*third intense yawn*'' in 24 hours causes deep coma and irreversible brain damage. If you are feeling any kind of boredom, sleepiness or fatigue, experts urge you to sleep or **engage in high-adrenaline activities right away**." "You there?", Jeff asks, "Don't tell me you didn't hear all about Martha's apple pie!" You need to make a decision. FAST. [[Did I hear SHOT COMPETITION?|Shot Start]] [[Of course! You were saying...|Jeff Yawn 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

"Hey, Jeff!" "What?" As you stand up, "You know what time it is?" "Should be past six." "NO! It's shot competition time!" "What?" "I'll be right back. Be ready!" [[Head for the bar|Bar Counter 1]]

"Oh, boy. Like I said, you should never leave an apple pie unattended at 575°F in the oven. Can you guess why?" Your eyes desperately search for help around the bar. Nobody notices your boredom. "I reached as fast as possible for the kitchen drawer..." This is unbelievably tedious. "...Martha was crying, I had to do something..." Without even noticing, your mouth opens and a yawn slips out. You fall into an eternal coma. ''THE END. *Oh man! Sucks to be you.*'' [[But, this one only one of many wacking endings. Find the others!|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 3) (set: $number_endings to it+1)

As you lean on the counter, you notice a woman waiting for her drink. "Hey!" She ignores your pitiful existence, but the barman raises an eyebrow. "What'll be?" "Shots." "How many?" "Four..." You turn to look back at Jeff but at that exact second you notice he's peeking into his shoe and smelling his twisted ankle. "...Teen! Make that fourteen shots!" The girl next to you shrugs and rolls her eyes. Your barman merely prepares your order. "You're the boss. What's your spirit?" [[Tequilaaa!|Tequila Shots]] Vodka, of course! (COMING SOON!)

Fourteen tequila shots stare back at you from the table. You grab the first one and raise it! The first toast that comes to mind is... "To never yawning!" "That is a weird toast." "Just drink. Cheers!" Clink clink! **GULP!** [[One down, six to go.|Tequila Shots 2]]

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You place your first empty shot glass on the table. Speechless, you notice Jeff smacking his final shot glass as the crowd chants, "Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!" Jeff smiles back at his fans, he gives a large bow, then looks at you. "I've never seen someone drink tequila so fast." "Wait! I'm allergic to tequi--" A tsunami of Jeff's puke hits you. Your chest's soaked. [[Run for the washroom!|Washroom 1]] [[Quick! Grab some napkins at the bar|Bar Napkin 1]]

Your instincts kick in and - like any other self-respecting human being - you hurry for the washroom. It's just a few steps away, but when you get to it, you notice a couple of people waiting in line. They take a good look at you twisting their noses in disgust. Of course, they're not soaked in tequila barf. [[Wait in line.|Washroom Line Short 1]] [[Try the second floor.|Out of Order]]

"Freaking Jeff." You lean on the counter and call the bartender. "Napkins, please." You just wait covered in human regurgitations. The girl next to you turns and looks at the vomit. "Wild night, huh?" [[That's an accident.|Bar Napkin Accident]] [[That's how I roll.|Bar Napkin How I Roll 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

You take your place at the end of the line. It's been ten seconds, but it's like an eternity. Without thinking twice, you dash to the bathroom door. Everyone stares at you - including the woman who's next in line. She blurts, "What are you doing?" [[Play it safe.|Washroom Line Yawn]] [[Crack a joke.|Lady Line 2]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

There's a perfectly good washroom waiting upstairs. Losers! You quickly make your way to the second floor. OUT OF ORDER. Noooooo! Without thinking twice, you reach for the door. You turn the knob once. Twice. Thrice. It's locked. However, you remember you've got a paper clip in your pocket! [[Lockpick the door.|Lockpick Yawn 1]] [[Hurry back down.|Washroom Line Long 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

You grab the flimsy paperclip from your pocket and twist it like you've seen it done a thousand times in heist movies. You fiddle around and it takes a while, but it happens... Click! Now, for the second one. The clinking produces a delightful lullaby. It reminds you of better days when your mom played a music-box before bedtime. Theres no escape. You yawn and fall into an eternal coma. ''THE END. *Oh man! Sucks to be you.*'' [[But, this one only one of many wacking endings. Find the others!|Out of Order]] (set: $number_yawns to 3) (set: $number_endings to it+1)

Defeated, you hurry back to the first washroom. It'll all be fine. OR NOT. Now the line's even longer. You take your place at the end. It's been ten seconds, but it's like an eternity. Without thinking twice, you dash to the bathroom door. Everyone stares at you - including the woman who's next in line. She blurts, "What are you doing?" [[Play it safe.|Washroom Line Yawn]] [[Crack a joke.|Lady Line 2]]

Silently, you once again take your place in line as an upstanding citizen. How did it all come to this? Before you can start daydreaming, your smartphone buzzes. But it's just a system update. The past months of overtime got in the way of making friends. Nobody thinks about you. Taken over by boredom, you decide to rest your eyes for a moment. And let out an (involuntary) yawn. Tough luck. ''THE END. *Oh man! Sucks to be you.*'' [[But, this one only one of many wacking endings. Find the others!|Washroom Line Short 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 3) (set: $number_endings to it+1)

You muster your best punchline. "Check this out! I ordered a shot at the bar and got this free t-shirt." She lets out a hearty honest laugh - which ignites the apocalypse. The inhaled aroma of your fashionable tie-dye barf shirt makes her gag. She tries to keep it in, but too late. Her puke hits the person next to her and starts a chain reaction. Soon enough the whole bar's throwing up. It's the Vomito Effect. Suddenly, as the washroom door bursts open a man spills his insides right in front of you. You dart inside and lock the door, but the stench reeks. Now what? [[Wash yourself.|Washroom Washing Yawn]] [[Open the window.|Washroom Decision 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

Barely standing the smell, you rush for soap and rub it on your clothes. The foam slowly takes form, but when you open the faucet, nothing comes out. You look around. Your gaze stumbles upon the toilet. Really? You lean on the toilet bowl and, at the last second, notice the tank. Of course! You lift the lid and splash some water on your shirt. The water mixes with the soap and vomit. Not a pretty sight. You automatically repeat the process, hoping for a better outcome. But it's laborious. Is this the 18th century or what? You yawn and fall into an eternal coma. ''THE END. *Oh man! Sucks to be you.*'' [[But, this one only one of many wacking endings. Find the others!|Lady Line 2]] (set: $number_yawns to 3) (set: $number_endings to it+1)

The open window brings a welcome breeze of fresh air. It still stinks, but it's manageable. It seems so peaceful outside that you begin to wonder if you could get out through it. Or you could just wait for this whole mess to blow over. You sit on the toilet lid do your best impression of Rodin's "The Thinker"... [[Try the window.|Washroom Decision 2]] [[Take a break.|Bathroom Wait]] Head back into the bar. (COMING SOON!)[[ |Bar Return Puke]]

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You step on the toilet (lid closed, obviously) and take a peek through the window. It's an ordinary back alley, quiet and dirty. After some painful stretching, you take a closer look and notice a bike and a trash dumpster right below the window on the alley's side. Not exactly the most welcoming of places, but it would soften your fall. Alternatively, you can avoid the dumpster and preserve your dignity. The fall's longer, but it's a chance to make a landing in your best super hero pose. So, you... [[Embrace the dumpster!|Back Alley Dumpster]] [[Go for the pose!|Back Alley Pavement]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

In life, it's always important to stop and smell the roses. Amidst all the chaos, we let ourselves get caught up in the hectic pace of life and forget to appreciate the small things. True. There are no roses to smell right now - quite the contrary. It's been a hard day. It's been a tough week. It's been a challenging life. You think back to the good old days of school when troubles were small and you could take naps during the afternoon. Naps. Yeah... Those were good, weren't they? You close your eyes and smile. ''THE END. *You are amazing! You avoided the last fatal yawn and know how to lead an exciting life.*'' [[This is only one of many wacky endings. Find the others|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_endings to it+1)

You crawl out and scream... "Geronimoooooo!" As you fall, you hear the sound of ripping fabric. Your clothes tear away and you dive into a pool of stinky cushions. You find yourself drowning in the dumpster, desperately flailing your arms and reaching for the skies. Somehow, you survive the filthy quicksand and gasp with relief as your head pops out. You're alive, but pratically naked. Suddenly... Wee-woo! It's that unmistakable siren with the classic red and blue glare. The police have seen you. [[Stay in the dumpster.|Dumpster Ending]] [[Get out!|Arrested Ending Yawn]]

You crawl out and scream... "Geronimoooooo!" As you fall, you hear the sound of ripping fabric. As your clothes tear away, you try to balance yourself. No super hero pose here, you land with your face flat on the pavement. As you slowly get up, you realize you're pratically naked. Great. Suddenly... Wee-woo with the classic red and blue glare. The police! [[Grab the bike!|Bike Ending]] [[Run like crazy!|Arrested Ending Yawn]]

The police approach the dumpster. The night's events run through your mind. How can anyone explain this? "Sir, we see you." Sweat trickles down your forehead. "Argh! Not you again!" A gravely voice bursts next to you. "Oh, Bert." The officer replies, "You know you can't sleep in the dumpster." "And you know I've got rights, right? Rights? Right!" "Yeah, yeah. Who's your new friend?" "Why do you care? I was just getting some shuteye when someone fell from the sky. Smells worse than my feet... And I wash them a lot, like every semester. Just leave us alone, man. We're hungry, tired and I bet you don't have a donut to spare." "I'll let you two off the hook with a warning. Don't be here next time." With their classic "wee-woo" siren, the officers drive out of the alley. "Thank you. I don't even know what to say." You confess to Bert. "Don't. Just give me my donut." Before you can answer, the adrenaline rush dies down and your eyelids shut with relief. You fall into deep sleep and survive the night. ''THE END. *You are amazing! You avoided the last fatal yawn and know how to lead an exciting life.*'' [[This is only one of many wacky endings. Find the others!|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_endings to it+1)

"Hey! Stop right there!" You dash like a madman. The wind brushes against your body. You're unstoppable! Or so you think. The police car easily blocks you. "Did you really think you'd outrun us? You're under arrest." The officers drive away with you handcuffed in the backseat. "I can't believe the paperwork for this one." "Tell me about it." Yaaaaawn. And that seals the deal. One yawns, so does the other... And random onlookers too. "Nooooo!". You yawn and fall into an eternal coma. ''THE END. *Oh man! Sucks to be you.*'' [[But, this one only one of many wacking endings. Find the others!|Washroom Decision 2]] (set: $number_yawns to 3) (set: $number_endings to it+1)

You dash for the bike and start cycling like there's no tomorrow. The seat feels horrible because you're butt-naked, but at least you're not barefoot. "Hey! Stop right there!" You never realized you could go that fast! The wind brushes against your body. You're unstoppable! The police car quickly catches up to you and the driver yells "Stop!" to which you reply "I can't!" "What?!" "I can't stop! If I stop, I'll yawn! I'll die! We're all gonna die!" "Are you a prophet? Is this a protest?" [[But you never stop to answer.|Bike Ending 2]]

"Actually, we drank with my boring colleague, he was faster than me. Turns out he's allergic to tequila. So yeah. He puked and now, I'm just--" She yawns in response. This triggers the rampant fatigue you've been feeling all week. The urge is stronger than your will to live. You yawn and fall on your back in a deep coma. Your body, covered with acidic regurgitations and your own shame. The bartender comes back with napkins. "Here you are... Oh." He says while shrugging. ''THE END. *Oh man! Sucks to be you.*'' [[But, this one only one of many wacking endings. Find the others!|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 3) (set: $number_endings to it+1)

You pump your chest in an attempt to impress the girl. Small pieces of Jeff's lunch fall on the floor as you roleplay the peacock. It's pathetic. "I'm at a place in my life where I deal with whatever it throws at me. I've got no time to waste." The girl's eyes widen. "That's exactly how I feel." You reply, "You know what? Let's do something crazy." "No." "No?" "Let's go with IN-SA-NE. Come with me." [[She grabs you by the arm.|Jet 1]]

The girl drives both of you to a private airport in her sports car. She parks in front of a jet and you don't even have time to blink before she drags you inside. "Come on, slowpoke." She drags you to the cockpit and takes the right seat. She immediately starts turning on random switches on the command board. Beep. Beep. Beep. You realize something's strange. The pilot seat is empty. You ask, "Who's flying the plane?" "You are." She hands you a thick manual. [[Start reading it.|Jet Reading Manual]] [[Screw the manual.|Fuck the Manual]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

"Uh. Okay." You sink into the comfortable armchair and open the manual. It's daunting. The letters are tiny. So tiny. So many letters. So many boring details about the smallest components you've never heard of. Your jaw begins its descent. You stick your hand under your chin, but nature is stronger You yawn and fall head first into the manual. Taken over with dissapointment, the girl kicks you out. Passed out on the tarmac, you're left with your one and only friend; Jeff's barf. ''THE END. *Oh man! Sucks to be you.*'' [[But, this one only one of many wacking endings. Find the others!|Jet 1]] (set: $number_yawns to 3) (set: $number_endings to it+1)

You slam the manual into the ground. "Who do you think I am? Show me the cockpit and I'll figure it out." The girl becomes giddy with excitement. She's been waiting her whole life for someone as brave (or stupid) as you. You both get in the cockpit and she starts buckling up. You grab her seatbelt and stop her midway. Terror takes over. But it only lasts a second as she smirks in return. Her hand pushes yours on the throttle handle. It goes all the way to the end. As you take off, the speed pushes both of you into your seats. The first thing that comes to your mind is... [["SCREW YOU, JEFF!"|Jet Skydiving 1]]

You fly high in the sky. Below the clouds, you distinguish a magnificent mountain chain. You're mesmerized by the beauty of this experience. The girl gets impatient, "So? What now?" "What do you mean? We're flying! This is insane." "And I thought you were interesting." "Wait, what? I... I'm cool." "Prove it," she says pointing at two parachutes. [[Let's do it!| Jet 2 Skydive]] [[Are you crazy?| Jet 2 Wild]] (set: $number_yawns to 2)

As the plane door opens, the freezing wind whips your face. You look down at the mountains... A suitable moment for a quick existential review. "What are you waiting for?" asks the girl. She's almost done putting on her parachute. You wake up from your daydream, full of determination, "Never doubt my awesomeness again." "Oh god, so boring," says the girl as she kicks you out of the plane. You yell. She stabilizes in the air next to you and you grin at her - she doesn't. Her only response is a yawn so strong, it could dislocate her jaw. You shout at her "NOOOOOOOO!", but it's too late. Your grumble turns into a yawn that dooms you. You meet the peak of a mountain and die impaled at the top - but hey, you fell into a coma before that, so... It's fine? ''THE END. *How sad... Still, it's not everyday someone gets to put on such a spectacle! You should be proud.*'' [[This is only one of many wacky endings. Find the others!|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_endings to it+1) (set: $number_yawns to 3)

"Crazy? I just want to feel something. Anything. Get up!" She pulls you out of the pilot chair and takes the lead. As she pushes the yoke down, the plane nosedives and you float in the cockpit for a brief moment. She descends through the valley nearly hitting the mountains. Right before the plane touches the ground, she pulls the yoke. The plane pierces the air almost vertically. Your face can't handle the pressure of 8 Gs and every vein in your head pops out. The girls screaming at the height of her exhilaration. You try to tell her to stop, but its no use. You faint and fall on her lap. She pushes you aside and howls with excitment. Your body falls to the floor, unconscious, covered in vomit... But, hey, you're still alive! ''THE END. *You are amazing! You avoided the last fatal yawn and know how to lead an exciting life.*'' [[This is only one of many wacky endings. Find the others!|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_endings to it+1)

(set: $number_yawns to 0) (set: $number_endings to 0)

Yawns Left: $number_yawns /3 Endings: $number_endings /11

Hours later, you somehow cross a border. As the sun rises you notice waves of people cheering for you. You smile, but feel your parched throat. The dehydration gets the best of you and you faint. When you open your eyes, you see a hospital room. Flowers and greeting cards stand next to your bed. "Thank you for standing up for us! Get well soon." A newspaper headline reads "Naked cycling prophet takes the world by storm. WHO acknowledges CINDE-12 as a global pandemic." You're a hero. You smile and close your eyes for another nap ripe with satisfaction. ''THE END. *You are amazing! You avoided the last fatal yawn and know how to lead an exciting life.*'' [[This is only one of many wacky endings. Find the others!|Bar Table 1]] (set: $number_endings to it+1)